NonSequitor of an Ondo
by Mr. Ree and Mr. Meenor
Summary: Just some random Naruto humor that popped into my head. Slight OOC. Enjoy.


This is a quick story (well, not too quick, more like something going on in my head about Naruto) and is based off the Naruto Ondo Song! XD Please, do enjoy, and listen to this if at all possible with the story thing? Note: There are a lot of lame references in here, and sorry if I missed them in the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Or the people who made the song Naruto Ondo! (My typing becomes really fast when listening to this song, it's freaking amazing!) And I do not Own Lucky Star or Motteke! Sailor Fuku.

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_Naruto: "Yatte kimashita! NARUTO Ondo!"  
Sakura: "Kyou wa ippai utauwayo!"  
Naruto: "Ore mo dokka-n to mori agaru ze!"  
Sakura: "Sore ja minna, isshou ni!"  
Naruto: "Odoruttebayo! SHIKAMARU tanomu ze!"  
_

"Wait, what do you mean, we have ANOTHER mission? Can't we just take a break, granny? You're pissing me off."

"Naruto!!" Sakura punched him over the head. "S-Sorry, Tsunade-sama, he had yet to eat any breakfast, so he's kind of--"

"What are you saying? Yeah I did--"

"BAKA NE! You TRYING to get us killed?!"

Tsunade smirked lightly at Naruto's attempts to get out of a mission. So THAT'S how he wanted it, didn't he? He was getting more lazy, maybe because, well, he was a teenager.

_NARUTO, Rasengan Kage Bunshin  
SAKURA Sha-n naro, SASUKE wa Chidori Sharingan  
INO Shinten- SHIKAMARU Kagemane  
CHOUJI Nikudan Sensha de gorogoro  
KIBA, AKAMARU Gatsuuga  
HINATA, SHINO  
NEJI Byakugan, TENTEN, LEE-  
Omote Renge, Ura Renge de ho!  
KONOHAMARU wa Oirioke no jutsu!_

"Fine," she sighed. If that's how you want it..."

"YES!" Naruto shouted in joy.

"...Though you are going to now have to train. Against ME."

"Wha--?!"

"See what you got into now, you idiot?!" Sakura yelled in anger. "Now we have to fight her--"

"Only Naruto. Not you," Tsunade laughed evilly. "Oh, and a few others, too. This ought to be interesting..."

"T-Tsunade-sama," Shizune tempted fate. "Shouldn't you be working and not fighting Naruto and those few people you want to challenge? You are the Hokage, after all, right? Work comes before messing around with--!"

A chair, one which Tsunade was sitting in, was then thrown at Shizune's face. She groaned.

_Jinsei ikioi gatsun to ikouze  
NEJI ri hachimaki ibatsu kimetara omatsuri sawagi  
Chakura tsukiru made, gatsun to ikouze  
tsukiyo no shitade maiodore misero yo  
sono kokoro iki!_

Tsunade dragged Naruto by the ear, and Sakura followed. This was going to end badly, she could see it now, and she couldn't just let Naruto deal with all of Tsunade's wrath. Or could she? The devil take her soul to hell, she wasn't seriously contemplating letting him actually fight her! Well, it depended on who would be fighting with him, right? And, unless it was Chouji, he'd let them fight it out.

"Here!" Tsunade roared. "You know, change of plans, Sakura! You are gonna fight too!"

"What?!" Sakura yelled. "Tsunade, how much did you drink?! I can't--"

"Sasuke, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Konohamaru!" Tsunade yelled. "Get the hell over here, now!"

Crap. She was drunk. Sakura groaned as everyone came over as if to avoid getting hurt. And, wait, where did Sasuke come from?! He was supposed to be with Orochimaru, right? Being one of his slaves or bodies or whatever, right?! She moaned. That sounded like something Jiraiya would say...

"Prepare to go down, I can beat every single one of you into the dirt!" Tsunade yelled.

_SHIKA ta nai ne to nageki yori mo,  
CHOUJI ri awasete nanto ka NARUTO  
INO rou janai no!_

"I'm tired, though!" Shikamaru whined. "I don't really want to fight... What a--"

"Don't you DARE finish that American sentence!" Tsunade yelled.

"--drag. Oh, crap!"

Chouji grinned. Shikamaru really screwed this up. American? What was Tsunade talking about? Ino stared blankly as Asuma came over in confusion.

"Guys, we were supposed to train, so why are you in battle formation over he-- Hokage-sama? What are you doing? Shouldn't you be work--"

And with almost finishing that sentence, Asuma became one with the ground.

"Asuma-sensei!" Ino screamed. She flinched, looking back at Tsunade. "Oh, you are so ON!"

_Ikuze!_

Odori akasouze Konoha no sato de  
kiai wo irete Sha-n naro!  
Chidori naraseba Sen-nen-goroshi  
Kuchi yose no jutsu GAMA OYABIN toujou yoisa

"Wait, you are seriously going to take her on, Ino?!" Sakura yelled. "She's drunk, she doesn't know what the hell she is doing, so don't--"

"RAAAAGH!" Ino yelled, attempting to hit Tsunade.

"--hit her. Idiot! Listen to me before--"

"RASENGAN!"

"--Oh, jeez, even you, Naruto--"

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!"

"--Wait, shouldn't that come before Rasengan--"

"SHARINGAN!!"

"--You're not even supposed to be here—"

"KAGE MANE NO JUTSU!!"

"--You can't be serious, Shikamaru--"

"FANG OVER FANG!"

"--Thanks for breaking the Japanese Jutsu names, Kiba."

_Taiko ga NARUTO utage no hajimari  
ASUMA de mate nai wa  
KIBA-tte Gatsuuga Akamaru mo issho ni  
kikoete IRUKA? Utage ga hajimaru  
shikka LEE to TENTEN aoi de HINATA de odotte KURENAI?_

Hara ga hettara Ichiraku Ramen  
omori kui nayo sore demo tari nakya  
shime wa ANKO de!

Ikuwayo!

"Guys, stop! It's pointless fighting! We need to knock her out before she either ends up killed or kills you all! And that would be bad! ...though Naruto can die, for all I care."

"Dattebayo?!"

"And there's why."

"C'mon, is this all you got?!" Tsunade laughed in her drunken state.

_Karada HATAKE ba hokori mo deru ga  
genki KAKASHI ta koto wa nai  
ha JIRAIYA tere wa mou sutete  
ni GAI omoide wa Daina Mikku Entori!_

Datte ba datte ba datte bayo!

"No, Granny, I've got more tricks!" Naruto roared. "You're going down like the Titanic!"

"--Guys, seriously--" Sakura tried to calm everyone down somehow. "And Naruto, why the lame reference?"

It seemed pointless to even her to try to get involved. Tsunade was even more riled up than ever to take them all down, as did everyone else. Should she join them? Possibly to stop the mayhem, she'd be doing a good thing, right? Most teachers were stopping and watching this fight unfold. Some even started placing bets.

"Guys, we need to make a plan so that we don't hurt her! She's DRUNK!" Sakura yelled, running over to them.

"Okay, I have a plan," Naruto whispered.

Everyone gathered around, whispering as Tsunade kept punching random, innocent bystanders.

"Ready, Granny?! HERE WE COME!!" Naruto yelled.

_NARUTO, Rasengan Kage Bunshin  
SAKURA Sha-n naro, SASUKE wa Chidori Sharingan  
INO Shinten- SHIKAMARU Kagemane  
CHOUJI Nikudan Sensha de gorogoro  
KIBA, AKAMARU Gatsuuga  
HINATA, SHINO  
NEJI Byakugan, TENTEN, LEE-  
Omote Renge, Ura Renge de ho!  
KONOHAMARU wa Oirioke no jutsu!_

"...And THAT'S how it's done... in AMERICA!" Naruto yelled.

Tsunade toppled over. How was it possible? A couple of snot-nosed kids that were only punks, beating someone as amazing as herself? She groaned as she hit the ground. Shikamaru sighed. This was more troublesome than he imagined. No doubt were Ino and Chouji glad they 'avenged' Asuma-sensei. Sasuke turned around, smirked, then disappeared. Naruto blinked once. It actually worked? Even though Tenten, Lee, Shino, and Hinata did NOTHING?! Even Konohamaru did more than NOTHING! He groaned in annoyance. Neji leaned up against the wall. That was utterly more pointless than reading the Twilight Series. It dawned on him then: He hadn't read the last book. He was going to borrow it from Shizune, but... Kiba and Akamaru grinned widely, then left.

"Guys, um, she doesn't look like she's breathing...," Naruto pointed out.

"Don't be rid-- OMG, you're RIGHT!" Sakura yelled. "Tsunade-sama!!"

_Yozora ni SAKURA man no hanabi  
tsukami kire nai hakanasa wo  
karen ni tatsu nadeshiko no hana ni  
chikai wo tateru  
"tsuyoku naruwa yo!"_

Odori akasouze Konoha no sato de  
kiai wo irete Sha-n naro!  
Chidori naraseba Sen-nen-goroshi  
Kuchi yose no jutsu, GAMA OYABIN!

Odori akasouze konoha no sato de  
kiai wo irete Yaruttebayo!  
shinobi tarumono Hokage wo mezasu  
getsui wo mune ni  
"Saa ikouzei sei no  
KAGEBUNSHIN RASENGAN!"

"You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" Sakura dictated as all of them had throbbing heads. "You almost killed Tsunade-sama! Do you know how serious that is?! It's almost a criminal offense--"

"Believe it!" Naruto interjected.

"--like saying the crappy American lip-syncing catch phrase," Sakura groaned.

"It's bigger and better than 'BAM'?" Ino offered.

"Are you SERIOUS?!" Sakura yelled. "No more TV for you!"

"TV?" Chouji questioned.

"You know what, never mind, I'm through with you all," she groaned. "You're all hopeless. At least Suna has some more MATURE people over there..."

Off in the distance (whom voices resembled Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro), a song was sung:

"_Aimai san senchi sorya puni tte koto kai? Choh!  
Rappingu ga seifuku...daa furi te kotanai pu.  
Ganbaccha yacchaccha  
Son to kyaacchi & Release gyoh  
I said (whoo!)I said (whoo!) no tanima ni Darlin' darlin' F R E E Z E!!"_

(Motteke! Sailor Fuku)

"You've got to be kidding me," everyone groaned.

_Sakura: "Hanabi, kirei ne?"  
Naruto: "Iya, sono Sa-Sa-Sakura-chan no hou ga suge-kirei-"  
Shikamaru: "Oi, mata agaru zo!"  
Naruto: "ah-aaah"  
Naruto/Sakura/Shikamaru: "Ta-maya!"_

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Ahaha! That was fun typing. Though, it makes no sense... XD; My apologies. So, did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor! (I was literally bored: If I get bad reviews, I can see why. I typed this thing in, oh, twenty minutes, tops?) Over and out! --Kurokumo Soratami.


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